The Mist of a Memory

– J. LeDoux

 

I’m ready to leave you

I’m done with your shtick

I don’t really believe you

Want another go at it

You left my heart

Like a broke down car

My nerves are frazzled

I’ m acting bizarre

My brain’s in a freeze

My minds gray

You’re like a disease

That won’t go away

There’s a hole in my soul

That you shot right through

You’re making me cold

I got to get rid of you

You don’t have to chose

Will it be him or me

I’m not gonna lose

My dignity

I’m dropping you

Like a worn out shoe

Soon you’re gonna be

Just the mist of a memory


Mind Over Matter

J. LeDoux

Mind over matter

That’s something I’m trying to do

It’s just a little physics

That keeps me apart from you

Mind over matter

That’s something i’m trying to do

Breakdown space and time

And be together with you

I’m  trying to will you here

Find you where ever you are

Locate your body or soul

Pull you in from afar

Are you still in my time

Or have you slipped away

Have you gone forwards or back

Lving in another day

Where o where might you be

Different continent or on the sea

In the air flying free

Or in a place heavenly

 

Wherever you are now

I’ll use my mind to find

No amount of space and time

Can keep you from being mine

Mind over matter

That’s something I’m trying to do

I guess it’s only physics

That keeps me apart from you

 

Mind over matter

That’s something I’m trying to do

Breakdown space and time

And be together with you


Fearing

J. LeDoux (based on Emily Dickinson)

While I was fearing it came

But with less of the fear because

Fearing it so long

Had almost made it dear

There is a fitting dismay

An appropriate despair

Tis harder knowing that fear is due than

Knowing it is here

The waiting is the worse

It ties you up in knots

Anticipation a curse

A thousand empty shots

If to fear were merry

And to worry were gay

How blithe would be the memory

Of that awful day

When hell was turned loose

A full psychic assault

A fearful memory so cruel

Could it be my fault

If recollecting were forgetting

Then I remember not

And if forgetting recollecting

How nearly I forgot

But recollecting is not forgetting

It’s vivid rehearsal of pain

It reminds me of that day

It keeps fear in my brain

If recollecting were forgetting

Then I remember not

And if forgetting recollecting

How nearly I forgot

But recollecting is not forgetting

It’s vivid rehearsal of pain

It reminds me of that day

It keeps fear in my brain

It keeps me a  waiting

But not waiting in vain

It keeps me a waiting

It keeps fear in my brain

It keeps me a waiting

It keeps fear in my / brain


Theory of My Mind

J. LeDoux

Do you have a theory of my mind

If you do then why are you so blind

To the things that I need

To the things that I want

To the reasons that I bleed

Every time you taunt me

Am I the one that you believe in

If so why are you always leaving

Can you see the things that I’m feeling

If you do you’re very good at concealing

You always criticize

You never ever empathize

You should try to be me

Maybe then you’d finally see me

Do you have a theory of my mind

If you do then why are you so blind

To the things that I need

To the things that I want

To the reasons that I bleed

Every time you taunt me


Crime of Passion

J. LeDoux

 

Sentenced to death

For a crime I did commit

I couldn’t stop

I did it in a fit

Of anger and pain

Of sorrow and hate

Of torture and trouble

Of misery and fate

 

You were to me

Like nectar to a bee

My source of life

Your loving wife

Saw you with him

(You were hurt and enraged)

I couldn’t  stop

(Once your brain was engaged )

A crime of passion has got me

Locked in this dirty old cell

(A crime of passion has got you

lost in a living hell)

If I could go back I wouldn’t

I wouldn’t kill for you

You’re not worth

What I’m going though

Waiting and waiting

For my day to come

Time goes so slow

Can’t they just get it done

I thought I could take it

Just the test of a man

Wrong again

Blood’s stuck to my hands

A crime of passion has got me

Locked in this dirty old cell

A crime of passion has got me

Lost in a living hell

(A crime of passion has got you

Locked in this dirty old cell

A crime of passion has got me

Lost in a living hell)

Lost in a living hell

Lost in a living hell


How Free Is Your Will

J. LeDoux

How free is your will?

Do you have control?

Are you in charge?

Who’s running your soul?

How free is your will?

Are you automatized?

Just a bundle of habits?

Is your freedom disguised?

How free is your will?

Do you make up your mind?

Do you decide?

Or are your choices blind?

How free is your will?

Perhaps an illusion

A mystery

Convenient delusion

How free is your will?

Once you decide

Are you compelled?

Do you have to abide?

How free is your will?

Can you change your mind?

Reverse direction

Leave a choice behind

How free is your will?

Well of dignity

Fountain of pride

Sea of grandiosity

How free is your will?

The stuff of lore

The source of evil

The reason for war

How free is your will?

A truth to be hold

The secret of peace

A story to be told

How free is your will?

The way to stand tall

The basis of good

The hope for us all

Free will

A truth to be hold

The secret of peace

A story to be told

Free will

The way to stand tall

The basis of good

The hope for us all


The Automatic Mind

T. Volk

Welcome to the automatic mind

The door is open to remembered time

Images are conjured like a dream

Guiding actions on the waking screen

Even though I realize it

Still I feel so blind

As I contemplate

The automatic mind

We live in the automatic mind

Introspection opens inner eyes

It seems advanced yet hardly in control

Illusion of the will is comfort cold

Even though I realize it

Still I feel so blind

As I think about and can’t live without

The automatic mind

Even though I realize it

Still I feel so blind

As I think about and can’t live without


Brainstorm

J. LeDoux

It’s raining in my brain

I’m feeling no pain

Everybody thinks I’m insane

I’m just on my game

I don’t see the harm

Just having a brainstorm

Thoughts are racing, colors are flying

Magic’s in the air

Memories are flashing, legs a dashing

Don’t have a care, don’t have a care

Rain keeps coming down,

Thoughts are more pro found

Everybody’s staying clear

They hope I’ll disappear

I’m not alarmed

It’s just a brainstorm

Feelings are fleeting, heart’s a beating

No more despair

Muscles are cramped, head’s a damp

I’m on a tear, I’m on a tear

Storm’s picking up steam

My mind’s in a dream

Time’s a standing still

brrrr  I’ve got a chill

Maybe that’s just the norm

When you’re in a brainstorm

Thoughts are racing, colors are flying

Magic’s in the air

Memories are flashing, legs a dashing

Don’t have a care

Feelings are fleeting, heart’s a beating

No more despair

Muscles are cramped, head’s damp

I’m on a tear, I’m on a tear


Refractory Time

J. LeDoux and Daniela Schiller

Nerves fire and then they wait

Can’t fire again till in another state

It’s a thing called refractory time

It dictates the speed of the mind

I’m here in that deep dark place

In lonely refractory space

Will I ever feel or care

Awake from this nightmare

Got to go beyond the gap

Get out of this refractory trap

I need a cold hard slap

Wake from this refractory nap

 

I know I should move on

It’s too soon to do that

So I choose to be alone

Lost in my refractory gap

Nerves fire and then they wait

Can’t fire again till in other state

It’s a thing called refractory time

It dictates the speed of the mind

Got to go beyond the gap

Get out of this refractory trap

I need a cold hard slap

Wake from this refractory nap

It’s a thing called refractory time

It’s where I spend my time

It’s where I spend my time


Your Dreams

J. LeDoux

What does it look like when you dream?

Is it in black and white or is there a color scheme?

Are there sounds when you sleep?

Are they noisy or in harmony?

Does time go to your future or your past?

Does it stop or does it fly by fast?

Is every night in a different space?

Or do you return to a strange and secret place?

Do you dream about me the way I dream of you?

If you do you must want me the way that I want you

In my dreams you are always around

You are always in my dreams in color and sound

I wish I knew if in your dreams we are together

Cause in my dreams of your dreams we are forever

Do you remember your dreams when you wake?

Are you dreams there for you to take?

Can you control your dreams when you sleep?

Do you regret a dream, one you didn’t keep?

Are your dreams about your hopes and fears?

Are they disguised or is their meaning clear?

Do you dream about the day and its ups and downs?

Or are your dreams just your brain spinning round?


Glue

J. LeDoux

I saw you leaving, you saw me too

You smiled at me, that’s what you do

I tried to follow, but you were gone

Now I’m waiting, sitting home alone

I keep thinking about, you smile and eyes

I can’t believe your words were lies

You made me happy, so very glad

I can’t forget, the times we had

There must be something in my brain

There must be something in my veins

There must be some primal glue

That keeps my memory stuck on you

When I saw you go, I didn’t know

I thought you’d be back, in a week or so

It’s so hard, realizing that

I wasn’t really, where you’re at

I dream about you, most every night

I dream you’re back, and everything’s right

I keep hoping my dreams will come true

That I’ll wake up, right next to you

 

There must be something in my brain

There must be something in my veins

There must be some primal glue

That keeps my memory stuck on you

I keep thinking about, your smile and eyes

I can’t believe your words were lies

You made me happy, so very glad

I can’t forget, the times we had

There must be something in my brain

There must be something in my veins

There must be some primal glue

That keeps my memory stuck on you


Imaginate

J. LeDoux

 

Yesterday I touched you

Today I thought of you

Tomorrow I’ll remember you

But after that

What am I gonna do

I’m gonna take a trip

No one else can take

Gonna travel in my mind

I’m gonna imaginate

A place and time where things are fine

Where I don’t need you all the time

Gonna travel in my mind

Leave your world behind

I still feel yesterday

I’m living OK today

I’m trying to see tomorrow

But after that

What am I gonna do

I’m gonna take a trip

No one else can take

Gonna travel in my mind

I’m gonna imaginate

A place and time where things are fine

Where I don’t need you all the time

Gonna travel in my mind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind

Leave your world behind


Piece of My Mind

J. LeDoux

I was gonna give you a piece of my mind

But I wouldn’t have enough for me

You wore out my brain so it’s hard to find

A piece of my mind that’s free

You left so little of my mind behind

I can hardly remember me

I mostly have to pantomime

The one I used to be

My brain’s a tangled mess

Ever since you got in it

You took the very best

Just as you intended

Why are you like that

I wish that I knew

What goes on inside your brain

Makes you make me blue

 

You say you want to change

You want to settle down

That I’m the one you want

To be with in a gown

There you go again,

Putting me down to your friends

Don’t you realize

Words are means not ends

No matter what you say

You will still be you

If you wanna change who you are

You gotta change what you do

I was gonna give you a piece of my mind

But I wouldn’t have enough for me

You wore out my brain so it’s hard to find

A piece of my mind that’s free

You left so little of my mind behind

I can hardly remember me

I mostly have to pantomime

The one I used to be

The one I used to be

The one I used to be

The one I used to be

The one I used to be

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